Live The Dream

Six months. One backpack. Bring it on.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Homesickness strikes

I landed in Portugal this morning, just before 9.

I really have no idea what to say, I think I must be in shock. All my friends are still there and I´m not. Meagan, Smalls, Tor, Votja, Alex, Alena, James, Chris, Mendes, Roberta, Owen, Mullet, Eloise, Henrique... they´ve become such familiar faces, I really have no idea what the heck to do without them. Especially Meagan.

The goodbyes were so wrenching (great, now I´m sitting in an internet cafe in Porto, Portugal with tears in my eyes). We went out dancing, and with 4 hours to liftoff I decided I´d better get moving. Yeah, shoulda done that sooner. Everyone had something extra sweet to say, and I was seriously contemplating missing my flight and catching a later one straight down to Lagos. Tor even offered to pay for a new one if I stayed, for reasons known only to him... I was so close to saying yes. What stopped me - I knew I´d have to go at one point and it´d be just as hard then. Plus, you can´t throw a gigantic going away party and then stay.

Anyway, 20 minutes later, Meagan and I were still hugging, saying how we´d be friends forever and see eachother again and we didn´t want to do this... we couldn´t let go. Finally Votja had to drag me away...at which point I realized I´d forgotten most my gifts with someone (Poppy?) in the bar. They gave me all these tshirts and cute underwear for travel. (By that I mean Meagan made me pick them out and the pretend to be surprised).

I guess I should be grateful that I forgot those and not the other half of my gift. They seriously blew me away with this. They bought me a journal, but not only that, they had everyone sign it. And the kicker, Owen drew an amazing likeness of myself dressed up in my Riley the Racoon suit (from a picture of my days as a hockey mascot. For some reason Tor found it hilarious and started calling me Racoon). It´s perfect. One of the nicest gifts anyone´s ever given me.

Anyway, I ended up in an unlicenced cab (not the wisest idea, but V took down his licenece number and made me text him when I got there safe), paying 50 quid because otherwise I was gonna miss my flight.

So this is what it feels like to have your life on your back. Heavy, and a bit bizarre. Is this really all I need to survive?
So this is what it feels like to leave it all behind again. Empty, I always forget how much I miss things, especially if I get out before I become jaded and cynical.

I know I need to do this. I know I´m gonna have the time of my life, and visit them all in 3 months and meet all sorts of amazing new people. I know this will fade and Iºll wonder what the big deal was. But today, after being surrounded by such amazing friends for so long, I just feel so damn alone.

Welcome to day 1.

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